Remembering Your First Love
Revelations 2
Do you remember when you first believed in God? Or maybe when you made a decision to take Him more seriously? I was 18 when I made that choice; up to that point I had been an atheist but through some friends I became more open to the gospel and hearing about God. It all came to a head one night at a youth event put on by a local church. Although I don’t recall getting involved with the activities or listening to the speaker - it was on that night I gave my life to Christ. It was a conscious choice - a clear decision to re-shape my life, and although I did not have it all together, or know the ins and outs I was captured by God and by his immense love for me. What I saw was the point of life and what my life must be dedicated to with everything else paling into insignificance before Jesus.
Each of us have a different experience of this; some have dramatic conversions with clear changes in their lives. For others, God has always been there and overtime has become more and more a central focus for them. Whatever path our faith journeys have taken us on, the one question we should be asking from time to time is have we forgotten our first love? In Revelations 2 Jesus commends the Church in Ephesus but has one thing against them - they had forgotten their first love. It is easy in the first flush of faith to be zealous for God, part of everything going on in our parishes, but it is oh so easy for our faith to cool.
Life can knock us around, disappointments, tragedies and sufferings - or habits and patterns change that slowly pull us away. Its in some of these moments we can begin to question the love of God, the point of going to Church or even doubting the existence of Him.
On the other hand, we can be the active worker, always the one attending the various groups a parish puts on. The first to volunteer, always at Mass, running events or ministries. But, in our zeal to do the work of God our spiritual life can become like a job, a yawning chasm can break open between what we do externally and what our life with God is like in the heart. The Active volunteer can look in good spiritual health and even feel it so, but the danger is the purpose God has given can become our God, and the inner validation we receive of doing it can fool us into thinking it is God’s approval. We can quickly loose touch with the One who sustains us, and then a storm erupts in our life, or we get tired and discouraged, the devil has a field day and we have no spiritual back-up to counter it all. For those active in the Church there is no greater danger for them as when they begin to identify with the work and not with Christ - He has given us an identity and given us a chief work, to be Sons and Daughters of our Father, to love Him with all of our heart and Soul and then to love others. But our first love is always to Him.
So how do we recover? Below I list a few practical ideas that might help:
Read/Listen to Scripture - God speaks through the Scripture with the power to comfort and strengthen us in the Holy Spirit. Meditate on the Word.
Go to Mass - Rekindle your love of God through a deeper appreciation of what the Mass is and who is their; Jesus!
Find like-minded people - Look for others who are zealous for God. That might be a retreat in a place like Craig Lodge or work with a group at Firecloud. Are their people in your parish that seem particularly devoted? Get to know them. You could even take a further step and start a small group around one of the many great devotional studies.
Pray when you don’t feel like it - There is no promise anywhere that states prayer is only good if you feel good about it. Prayer isn’t easy, there are levels of prayer and it is up to you how far you wish to go. But the main thing to bear in mind is God wants to be in communion with us.
Learn when to say No - often the same people do everything in a Parish. That’s not good for you or your parish. Discern what God wishes you to do not just what others would like you to do.
The saints are your friends - Not only can we draw on the wisdom these holy men and women accrued in their lifetime we can also draw on their prayers and help. Pick one Saint, study them and ask for their intercession.
The list above is not exhaustive and you need to find what helps you. The main thing is God loves us and is always willing to embrace us when we turn to Him. Remember your first love.
Eric Hanna